Common Place Book, Everything Else

Simultaneous Love and Dislike

“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer whom I think well.”

Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice By Jane Austen)

We can vary rarely choose the people who we truly love in life. Our immediate family, that one true love who we tried so hard to avoid but couldn’t stay away from, the children we have been blessed with, or the best friends that grace us with their presence and even through the biggest of disagreements you never can shake them off. We reminisce over so many great memories with these people. Times of joy and sorrow. You may have shared sunsets, watched your favourite movies, enjoyed countless experiences and visited some amazing places together. Yet equally they have probably saved you from shame, dried your tears or rescued you from the darkest of holes. They are the people that know you inside out. This level of closeness moulded over time and the channels that converged raw emotions create lead to an ability to see past your loved ones advertising placards and into their core. It’s the sort of depth of vision that exposes faults and weaknesses. We witness the ones we love make the same mistakes or destructive choices over and over. We notice their annoying patterns of speech, preferences towards negativity, putting others down or other undesirable qualities. Sometimes it really can feel that we love someone indisputably but we don’t like them very much at all. Not only do we notice such repelling behaviours we become to expect them and even perhaps when that person is trying their very best to overcome their own barriers we are determined to only see the actions we have already presumed they would undertake. We allow the people our hearts cherish to become individuals we think and talk badly of. Those pent up feelings that we rarely externalise are impossible to conceal from our closest family and friends; we become transparent as we unintentionally underestimate them, neglect them, become short tempered with them, take them for granted and as a result leave them feeling lonely and unloved even when we are right by their side feeling quite the opposite. We become blind to our own incriminating behaviours. We would miss them if they were gone. We would do almost anything to keep them safe and we certainly would never let an ‘outsider’ speak so ill of our beloved. If someone was to tell us that the person we loved the most felt lonely, unappreciated and unloved we would want more than anything to move heaven and earth to make sure they knew that the complete opposite was true. The problem is there isn’t always someone there to highlight our faults to us. We have to wake our selves up and make sure we are adhering to the behaviours and morals we know to be right. It’s our responsibility not to let the short comings of those we love get in the way of our abilityto SHOW them love, give them our TIME to have PATIENCE, to FOCUS on the numerous gifts that they are blessed with and to make them really FEEL how precious and meaningful their presence is in our lives.

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